22nd May, 2007
It's now 12pm in the afternoon, already, things dun seem to be going well at all.
1. 0110hrs - still SMSing my "target". received one sms from her. Basically she's starting her part time school in July, thus, she will be working and studying at the same time from that point onwards. For some reason that i shouldn't reveal, she need to earn money, lots and fast. Well, to summarize it, she will have much lesser time to go out with friends, and that INCLUDES ME! Sigh, upon receiving that message, i was quite blank. I knew she would be starting her school soon, and knew that her work would continue concurrently. But guess it was only at that point of time that it dawned on me, I'll have to act fast, v fast in fact, for her to be comfortable in coming out alone with me. But guess that is easier said than done....
2. Morning work. I dunno how to explain it vaguely, or not too vaguely. Discovered some changes in colleague's attitude. Maybe i'm being sensitive but it just dun seem like in the past. Let's just assume I'm sensitive at this point of time.
3. The real BOMBSHELL. My ex, whom i had been actively messaging/calling for the past 1 week without any avail, (due to her handphone bill), finally decided to sms me back. Her first words....
"Can take back your belongings by Friday? Ty.."
Naturally, i was pissed off, i tried contacting her and she remain MIA. It's not like i wan a patch back or something, but bills have to be paid, and i do not think I'm in the mood to carry on paying her bills for her. Even the courts installment plans i having second doubts about repaying for her. If her attitude did not deterioate till the extent that she's just like using me, maybe i will be happier. But it's the after-actions that had made me so fed up, pissed off, annoyed, irritated, miserable, tortured, troubled etc. U know the trend.
I shoot her back, "Finally u decide to reply. U know that i have been looking for you for the past 1 week, yet u chose to ignore me. But your 1st reply to me is totally irrevelant of the bill payment. Do you have to do it until this far?"
And yes, my expected response from her, SILENCE....
Not the first time after the break up, i questioned my attention, care and tolerance for her these past 5 years. It's really unreciprocated. (wateveer the spelling). YET, if u had asked me if things will change if we reverse back to 5 years back, yes, i will still do that. Call me foolish or whatever, but to me, if u can't even "teng" your gf at the start, what will happen to the relationship few years down the road?
4. Was supposed to go out for movie later. But the aftermath of the morning's events had really dampened my mood, to add oil to fire, the person i'm supposed to go out for movie with, had no reply about the venue, the show nor the meeting time. Chances are high that i will be dua. Chances then are even higher that i will go home alone and early. And by then, chances are 100% that i will think of something that i should forget, be non-sensitive about...
THINGS DUN SEEM THAT ROSY TO ME AFTER ALL.(too many things are too superficial in life.....)
VaKminG
12:36 pm
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